Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Revamp my Brain

It's the end of October and our wedding social is quickly approaching. I can't believe that it is almost here. I am so nervous about it. I know everything will end up going really well but the anticipation of it is killing me! Previously I have spoken about my case of jealousy, I still have it but I'm trying to get around it. In the case of my bridesmaids I realized that I really shouldn't regret who I chose because in reality it is the right choice. It is much better to have family in the bridal party instead of friends because friends come and go but family is forever. If I would have chosen friends instead of family there is always the chance that those friendships might end down the line and then we would be stuck staring at wedding pictures with people we may not be friends with anymore. I know that that is a shallow way to look at things but it's true. Also with family there generally is a lot less drama(in most cases).
Even though I am so nervous about the social and everything that follows I know in my heart of hearts that everything will turn out perfectly. I hate waiting for all the wedding stuff to come. I really wish we would have chosen to have the wedding this year instead of next. Once the social is done the next thing to anticipate will be the shower, then the bachelorette party and then FINALLY the WEDDING!  I have a count down on my phone for the wedding! It can't come soon enough. I cannot wait to become Mrs.Zacharias! I cannot wait to marry the man I love! I cannot wait to see the results of our many, many months of planning!
Fall is finally here to stay!! No more warm weather!! The leaves are all turned and slowly falling from the trees. So far it's been a beautiful fall. The weather has been wonderful. We did have an unexpected thunder/lightning storm the other night which was mighty weird. It's so nice that I can curl up in cozy sweaters and fuzzy socks!! Just wonderful!!! 
It's time to enjoy Fall and put a positive spin on your thinking!
Enjoy this wonderful time of year! It's a season for change!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Heat Wave...In October?

As anyone who knows me knows, I LOVE fall! Well, this past week  Manitoba was hit with a heat wave. I figured that since it was October the hot weather was over and my favorite fall weather would be here to stay. Or at least here to stay until Manitoba freezes over. It was ridiculous! Temperatures reached over 30C! I was looking forward to cozy sweaters and bringing out my scarf collection but for the week I had to bring out my summer attire AGAIN. I guess it wasn't bad because everyone likes a heat wave when there really shouldn't be one. Well I think that we're back in Fall mode starting this weekend. According to the forecast the temperatures will be dropping(along with the leaves) and we'll be expecting some rain....I am so excited!!!! I'm such a weirdo to love cool temperatures and rain but I don't care!
October is here and that means Fall programming(TV) is in full force. There are so many great shows on this season. I've weened myself off of many of the reality shows I was addicted to such as Survivor, ANTM, Amazing Race, etc. and I have replaced that addiction with a comedy/drama addiction. My new fave shows include New Girl, 2 Broke Girls, Ringer and a few other wonderful shows. Of course there are my old favorites like Big Bang Theory, Parenthood and Mike & Molly but it's still nice to throw a few new shows in the mix.
Another awesome thing that October has brought is a new phone for me. Adam and I picked up an iPhone4 for me yesterday. My other cell phone didn't like me anymore and decided to be temperamental and some days it would work while other days the battery would die shortly after coming off of the charger. It also was looking a little sad as well. It was missing a button and the case that I had on it was dirty looking and cracked. My MTS contract was close to it's expiration date so we figured it was time to retire my Motorola Rocker. I love my new iPhone. It's white and has a case that looks like a monster. I've been having so much fun installing Apps and playing games on it. You can't be board with an iPhone in your hand.
As well as cooler weather, this weekend brings Thanksgiving. Monday we'll celebrate this wonderful holiday with a family dinner at my dad and step mom's. Thanksgiving is such a great holiday. It's so wonderful to spend time with family and friends. What are you thankful for? I am truly thankful for the life I live. I have a wonderful family and wonderful fiance and wonderful family to be. I'm thankful that we live in a country that is free of war. As Canadians we are truly blessed to live in such a great country.
Enjoy this beautiful weather and your Thanksgiving weekend. Don't forget to think about what you are thankful for. And on a side note Christmas is only 79 sleeps away...according to an app on my iPhone. LOL. I am thankful for all of you that read this, if there are any of you out there that do. Happy Thanksgiving!! xoxo

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Crisp

Fall is finally here or at least I think it is. After a long hot summer the weather has began to cool and the leaves have begun to change color. This is my favorite time of year! These cooler temperatures are such a nice break from the crazy heat we've experienced this summer. It's nice to be able to snuggle up in a cozy sweater and to wear jeans and not melt. This past Friday I went Geocaching with my buddy Ross. It was so wonderful because we weren't dying of heat and we weren't freezing. It was the perfect temperature. During the winter we had gone caching and on that particular day it was absolutely freezing and a good majority of the caches we searched for were under waist deep heights of snow....it was quite the adventure. But this last caching trip was great. We found loads of caches and found so many interesting things. I love geocaching because it's such a learning experience. It takes you to places you may have never been before, to places you never knew existed. Also many caches will bring you to historical sites where you learn something about that particular area or some historically significant person. Caching gives you both physical and mental exercise! It's awesome!! When we were caching on Friday we even ran in to 3 fellow cachers. I felt like such a nerd afterwards because when we introduced ourselves we introduced ourselves as our caching names not our real names and we also had talks about the weather and how there were few "muggles" around which means few non-geocachers. It was quite the day!
Fall also brings out the fall smells and flavors. It's one of my favorite parts of this time of year. I've been baking a lot with pumpkin! I love the mixture of pumpkin with the amazing spices that usually are mixed with it. The smells of cinnamon fill the house when one of my pumpkin creations are in the oven. It's such a relaxing fragrance! The other fall ingredient I have been using is apples. I recently made homemade applesauce. I had some apples sitting in the fridge that were most likely going to go to waste so I looked up an applesauce recipe online and was able to find a super simple recipe. It was:
4 apples peeled, cored and chopped
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup water
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Mix all the ingredients together in a saucepan and cook on medium heat until apples are soft. Once soft let them cool and then mash up with a potato masher. (I was lazy and have a crappy potato masher so I through the mixture into my Magic Bullet and mashed them up that way).
The recipe only yielded about a cup or so of applesauce but it was absolutely delicious!! I highly suggest making some if you are an applesauce fan like myself. Now that the weather is cooling, I've been baking so much more. I have many plans of what I want to bake. Today I'm going to make some mini banana loaves because I have some bananas that are rather brown sitting on the counter right now. The current issue of Rachael Ray's magazine is full of so many fall cooking/baking inspirations. I am most looking forward to making severed finger cookies!! The sound disgusting but look amazing and fun. From the recipe I believe the cookie will have a shortbread taste to it. You roll it into a finger shape. Cut in some knuckle lines and add a slivered almond as a finger nail. After the cookies are baked you dip the "severed" end into raspberry jam that has been reduced on a saucepan. They are going to be AWESOME!!! Can't wait to make them.
Enjoy the crisp weather and I encourage you to experiment with the flavors of fall!! :)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Ugh Jealousy....

Jealousy is a truly useless feeling but I seem to experience it fairly frequently. I know I shouldn't yearn for what I don't have but sometimes I just can't help it. My main jealousy that I have been experiencing is coming from wedding related events. My friend Candace recently got engaged. I am so happy for her because her and Curtis have been together longer than Adam and I. She had such an extravagant engagement. Curtis sent her on a scavenger throughout the city and the clue eventually led to him, in a suit, in the Leo Mol Sculpture garden; which let's face it, it's one of the most romantic spots in Winnipeg. I'm not saying that I wish my engagement was full of extravagance and glitter but I really do wish that Adam would have at least ask the question instead of just assuming that I would say yes. Candace isn't getting married until 2013 but she has started planning sort of. When I was at her place yesterday we were talking about our weddings. She knows what she wants and I have no doubt that she'll get what she wants. She was also telling me about Laura's(Curtis's sister) wedding. By the sounds of things Laura's wedding sounded absolutely gorgeous and from what Candace has said so will hers. I know my wedding will be nice but after talking to her I worry that because I have spent so much time focusing on saving money that we're going to lose the beauty. I know that my wedding won't be my dream wedding because if I had my dream wedding we would probably be in debt for the rest of our lives but what I have planned really is what I want. It may not be my dream but it's number 2 on the list. I guess this is just one of the things that happens when you are planning a wedding and so are others around you. Maybe that's why Kaitlyn and I came to blows(but that event was bound to happen sooner or later, wedding or not). Maybe what I'm experiencing isn't jealousy but "I wish" syndrome, which pretty much is a disguising way to say jealousy. I wish I could do everything I've always wanted but truth be told I don't want to start our marriage in debt. The way things are going right now we are going to be more out of debt by the time we get married because in May Adam's car payments will be done and 2 weeks after the wedding my car payments will be done. If we can get Adam's credit card and loan paid off then the only debt we'll have is the house but that's not really debt it's just a mortgage and pretty much everyone has one of those unless you're a)rich, b)old and have been living in your house since you were the only one on the block or c) you live in an apartment. 
The other thing that is getting to me is a slight pang of regret. I wish that when we got engaged I would have put more thoughts into who I chose as member of the bridal party. I came to the realization that you don't choose a maid of honor that is planning a wedding too...nothing good can come of that and as we've seen that's exactly what happened. On the bright side, I did end up with a much, much, much better maid of honor in my cousin Lisa. As for my other bridesmaids, I sometimes wish I would have chosen friends over Adam's sisters. With Amanda living in BC, she doesn't get to take part in the preparations and we lose a helping hand in getting ready for wedding related events ie) social, shower, bachlorette, etc. Hopefully we'll be able to get her out here for the shower at least. Sarah on the other hand lives here but she is 17 turning 18 and let's face it, she is going through a teenage, beginning university and is not any help. I love them both but I wish both of them could/would participate in the planning/prep. I just hope everything turns out the way I have planned it.
The other slight pang of jealousy that I have experienced comes from the fact that Curtis wants to take part in the planning of their wedding while Adam I practically have to pull teeth to get an opinion. He says that I don't want his opinion and that is why he doesn't give me one. But still he is the groom and this is his wedding too so he should be giving his insight. 
Everything will turn out and I know it but as for right now I just need to take a step back, breathe and realize that my wedding may not be extravagant but it will be perfect in its own way. I wish there was a cootie shot for jealousy...

Monday, September 5, 2011

Awful Blogger Right Here!

It's crazy to see that I haven't posted a new blog in over a year and a half! So much has changed in these last 19 months. So many journeys taken. In reference to my last blog post; I did leave BOMImed but ended up being unemployed for 3 months. During those 3 months I spent a lot of time moping around the house or baking. The guys from Adam's work loved the fact that I was baking so much because I would send most of the treats to work with him. In an attempt to find something to do I began my own cookie business. Still that wasn't much money and after 3 months of going crazy, 3 visits to a counselor, and 1 boyfriend sick of me moping, I decided to get a job. I ended up getting a part time job at Madison Lane Boutique in Lockport. Mid way through I started getting bored once again and picked up a 2nd job at the Walmart Portrait Studio. So last summer I worked my butt off and enjoyed it for the most part. At the end of September I quit the Boutique temporarily and focused on working at the Studio. Last Christmas was full of wonderful surprises! After almost 5 years of being together Adam finally proposed! I was so shocked and thrilled and couldn't believe it finally happened!! The ring box was wrapped and hidden in the toe of my stocking! After the ring was on my finger I proceeded to text everyone on my contact list at 11:30 at night! Come January things at the studio started petering out. The Christmas rush was over and the boredom sunk in. In January Adam and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary and I also celebrated my 24th birthday. In March I decided to drop down to casual at the studio and head back to the Boutique. This year I have spent most of my time working and planning our July 2012 wedding. The wedding is for the most part completely planned already. I even have my dress and shoes! A few weeks ago everyone at the portrait studio decided to quit and knowing that I knew that eventually I was going to get the dreaded call asking me to work. Of course the call came from the district manager and I knew then that I did not want to return to the studio. Another job bites the dust. Now the summer is coming to it's inevitable end and the sweet smells of fall are beginning to waft through the windows. The boutique will stay open until at least November 30th and if the weather is nice we'll stay open until December 15th. I'm not sure yet what I will do in the 2.5-3 month period that the store is closed but I'll figure it out. Maybe I'll become a Starbucks barrista. Currently I have been busy preparing for our November 19th social. Sounds like it's going to be a good night full of wonderful people, great music and an insane silent auction!!
Another change that has happened in the last 5 months, is one of my closest relationships ended. Kaitlyn who I had been friends with for 10 years is no longer in my life or at least hasn't been in the last 5 months. The friendship almost ended in 2010 though when she had her baby. I had said a comment that was supposed to be humorous/ironic/whatever and she took it the wrong way which led to a verbal written bashing from her sister and then another written verbal bashing from herself. After not even 3 months of no contact from my side anyways I finally gave in and decided that it was time to pick up the pieces of our relationship. It mainly was because her grandmother had passed away and I knew what she had meant to Kaitlyn and in my gut I knew I had to be there for her. After a good 6 and a half months of friendship our relationship turned sour. March 2011, we were both engaged, both each others maid of honor and both making plans for the future. I had my wedding date chosen so did she. Then out of the blue she changes her date to 4 weeks before mine. If I wasn't her maid of honor that would have been no big deal at all but I was and that did change things. After a week of upset and not talking to her I finally sent her a message explaining that I couldn't be her maid of honor. It was nothing mean or hurtful or vindictive or anything but she didn't speak to me for a week and after 10 years of friendship  I knew that that meant she was angry. I then proceeded to send her a message asking her if she was still going to be my maid of honor or not. And boy did I get a screenful back! She had turned all my words around. Pictured me as the bad guy. Pointed things out that were totally unrelated to the topic at hand and really, plainly tried to make me feel like shit. That message right there is what ended it all. I sent her a message back saying I was done and that we were no longer each others maid of honors. I was vague in the message about what I was done with but I think the point got across that I was done with the situation and I was done with her. It's unfortunate really but I looked back over the 10 years and realized the amount of fight we had, the amounts of pointless arguments and the amount of times that I was in the wrong in her eyes. Over the last 10 years every time we had any sort of tiff it was my job to pick up the pieces and put our relationship back together. It was my job to watch every little thing I said so it wouldn't be taken wrongly and cause a fight with us. I can't count the number of times I apologized and groveled about something that I didn't necessarily do. It took 10 years for me to take the wool off my eyes and stand up for myself. I do miss Kaitlyn but I do not miss the drama that comes with her.
It's amazing to see what happens in 19 months. Well this terrible blogger is going to sign off for now and hopefully I can get on here more frequently to post updates/rants/thoughts. Life is a journey not a destination! :)